When the word stepparents is brought up, what traits come in to your mind? One of the most popular stepparent is the wicked stepmother in Cinderella, especially the 1950 animated movie 'Cinderella' made by Disney. Stepparents may not always be the original or biological parent to the child and are often viewed as inferior or as a villain.
Stepfathers are usually not often viewed as nice due to conflicting backgrounds of the child and parent. There are other challenges for a stepparent to face when confronting their new children as written in Raising a stepchild by Raising Children Network. These conflicts written down are: confronting myths, getting along with each other, living day by day, handling extra stress, and maintaining discipline. Given also in the article are ways to help improve the tense situation at home.
Adjusting to a new family will be hard unless a friendly environment is developed by the parents and children. Even with the solutions evenly distributed with the parents, the father-figure, the stepfather is still best to give discipline,comfort and understanding when the child has done wrong or is in trouble for whatever reason.
One article,"What We Know About the Role of the Stepparent" by Kay Pasley, David Dollahite, and Marilyn Ihinger-Tallman , supports that stepparents should create a friendly and warm atmosphere before attempting to create a disciplinarian model in the home. "Findings also indicate that conflict between stepparents and stepchildren commonly occurs when stepfathers supported their spouse's attempts to enforce rules..."
The article also states that authoritative parenting was effective on stepfather-stepson relationship, but no parenting behavior was effective for stepfather-stepdaughter relationships. My assumption would be for the daughter's past and hurt feelings or possibly due to prejudice assumption on stepparents would hinder the affection or discipline being carried by the stepfather. My inexperience advice would be for the stepdaughter to give their stepfather a chance and let go of the prejudice assumption of stepparents.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Post 8: Fathers and Daughters
Katie giggles as she waits for her date to come around and open the car door. The pair enters an ice cream shop. She sits down at the table as her date gently pushes in her chair. He takes her hand from across the table and asks, "What flavor would you like tonight, Sugar?" Katie smiles and says, "I'll have chocolate, Daddy." ( From 'A Date with Dad' by LynneThompson, and Cheryl Gochnauer)
Have you ever thought that a father can influence his daughter on who she will choose to be her boyfriend or, later on, her spouse? Well believe it or not, they do.Fathers have the power to affect the standard of their daughters find for their life-long partner.
"A 50 year-old woman may look like an adult on the outside, but on the inside she is still working on issues that should have been attended to by a healthy, engaged father." states Dr. Ken Canfield, speaker and author of Seven Secrets of Effective Fathers and The Heart of a Father, being quoted from Father Daughter Relationships. He also states that fathers whose daughters are now in their adulthood act that it's too late and most just simply do nothing.
Daughters who don't have a healthy engaged relationship with and by their fathers often struggle relating to the other sex, and ultimately their relationships. I would assume that seeing their father treat their mother well, be all sweet to her, dating her, and the father himself doing these thing to his daughter would set her expectations for the man she would choose as her spouse.
John Mayer understood the concept and applied it in his song Daughters.
Baylor University conducted a survey, summarized by Schelly entitled 'Family: Fathers, Daughters', consisting of 43 fathers and 43 daughters, at least 22 of age, asking what was their most memorable time together. Among the daughters' most common answers playing sports, working together, and during vacation times. Sports was also the most mentioned activity among the fathers', but the second most memorable time for them was the marriage of their own daughter.
There were also a number of tips presented from various blogs to help fathers develop a true and sincere relationship with their own daughter. These tips consists of casual friendly activities, self-sacrificial deed, occasional family activities, and personal dates.
Have you ever thought that a father can influence his daughter on who she will choose to be her boyfriend or, later on, her spouse? Well believe it or not, they do.Fathers have the power to affect the standard of their daughters find for their life-long partner.
"A 50 year-old woman may look like an adult on the outside, but on the inside she is still working on issues that should have been attended to by a healthy, engaged father." states Dr. Ken Canfield, speaker and author of Seven Secrets of Effective Fathers and The Heart of a Father, being quoted from Father Daughter Relationships. He also states that fathers whose daughters are now in their adulthood act that it's too late and most just simply do nothing.
Daughters who don't have a healthy engaged relationship with and by their fathers often struggle relating to the other sex, and ultimately their relationships. I would assume that seeing their father treat their mother well, be all sweet to her, dating her, and the father himself doing these thing to his daughter would set her expectations for the man she would choose as her spouse.
John Mayer understood the concept and applied it in his song Daughters.
Baylor University conducted a survey, summarized by Schelly entitled 'Family: Fathers, Daughters', consisting of 43 fathers and 43 daughters, at least 22 of age, asking what was their most memorable time together. Among the daughters' most common answers playing sports, working together, and during vacation times. Sports was also the most mentioned activity among the fathers', but the second most memorable time for them was the marriage of their own daughter.
There were also a number of tips presented from various blogs to help fathers develop a true and sincere relationship with their own daughter. These tips consists of casual friendly activities, self-sacrificial deed, occasional family activities, and personal dates.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Post 4: The Impact of a Father's Love
What is love? You might be thinking of a certain song and headbanging in a particular way. Some might define love with honesty, kindness, joy, generosity, and loyalty altogether. It may even be described as something selfless to the point of death.Love to some is like a cloud, some as strong as steel, for some a way of living, for some a way to feel (John Denver "Perhaps Love").
However you may describe love, it will always have an intimate relationship with each other and undivided attention and concern for each other; a father's love will greatly affect their child in confidence, self-respect and interpersonal relations. A child who feels accepted by their father will set their confidence and security to the society.
While researching on the topic, many of the articles including A Father's Love is One of the Greatest Influences on Personality Development cites that 36 studies consisting of 10,000 participants where rejection from the parents tend to feel more anxious or more hostile to society. One thing worth noticing is that "children and young adults are likely to pay more attention to whichever parent they perceive to have higher interpersonal power or prestige." In other words: children are more likely to look at the parent whom they believe is more influential.
Often times it is the fathers who are identified as the one who is the superior parent. If the father then rejects their child, the effects can and will affect their growth and development skills. Rejection is a horrible nightmare than has the same effect as physical pain but can be relived over again, like a video stuck in replay.
However you may describe love, it will always have an intimate relationship with each other and undivided attention and concern for each other; a father's love will greatly affect their child in confidence, self-respect and interpersonal relations. A child who feels accepted by their father will set their confidence and security to the society.
While researching on the topic, many of the articles including A Father's Love is One of the Greatest Influences on Personality Development cites that 36 studies consisting of 10,000 participants where rejection from the parents tend to feel more anxious or more hostile to society. One thing worth noticing is that "children and young adults are likely to pay more attention to whichever parent they perceive to have higher interpersonal power or prestige." In other words: children are more likely to look at the parent whom they believe is more influential.
Often times it is the fathers who are identified as the one who is the superior parent. If the father then rejects their child, the effects can and will affect their growth and development skills. Rejection is a horrible nightmare than has the same effect as physical pain but can be relived over again, like a video stuck in replay.
Belinda Elliott, writer of The Power of a Father's Love, expresses her gratitude to her father. She writes that because her father she know how a woman should be properly treated unlike other women who are easily flattered by faux Prince Charmings and end up worse than before. She continues with messaging the fathers that their children observes their fathers behave to other people.
An aspect for fathers loving their children would be being accepted by their fathers. With a father's love children will be well respected as they have a self-regard on themselves and would also have a deep gratitude to the parents that raised them. For a father to always love their children may not always be easy but there will be an exceedingly satisfying reward.
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Post 3: Fathers as Depicted in Movies
There was once a handsome prince who dreamed to be king and his father the king at the time was a just and fair ruler. The king would teach the young prince on how to justly govern the kingdom.
One day while the young prince was playing, a great mishap occurred and accidentally killed the king. The young prince fled and banished himself from his own kingdom deceived by his uncle that he killed his own father. The young prince eventually forgot that he was a prince and a duty to fulfill and his kingdom was falling apart having it being ruled by his deceitful uncle.
We all know this story right? If what your thinking is the award-winning 1994 film "The Lion King", then you get an achievement and trophy! The Lion King, though focused on Simba, is a very touching and moving story of father and child.
As Marc Newman has written in "Finding Strong Fathers in Film", fathers in society are usually depicted as failures and are not getting a pat on the back they deserve. He continues saying that movies and culture are not far off from each other. "It is hard to say if movies influence culture, or if culture is mirrored in movies, but clearly they feed on one another." Then writes down a list of movies depicting fathers with good character and the fatherly morals that can be drawn from the movie.
As Marc has said, not much movies portray fathers as a strong father figures. Most movies often portray fathers as being stupid, are slackers, and maybe immature and try to retaliate by being loving in the end of the film. To name a few are "Grown Ups" (2010), "Click" (2006), and "The Hangover" (2009).
Some movies portray fathers be stupid and oblivious at the start but proves to be the strong father figure the family needs like the movie "The Game Plan" (2006). And there are movies that show how much pain a father can place on their child. Examples would be "Star Wars" episodes 4-6 (1977,1980,1983) with the famous quote "No Luke, I am your father". Another example would be "New Police Story" (2004) where the antagonist rebelled against his rude and abusive father.
One movie that would show how much a father would sacrifice for his child would be "The Pursuit of Happyness" (2006). In Manohla Dargis' movie review "Climbing Out of the Gutter With a 5-Year-Old in Tow" that Chris Gardner (Smith) broke as he is, would consider getting money a way of attaining happiness. "He doesn’t want just a better, more secure life for himself and his child... he seems to yearn for a life of luxury, stadium box seats and the kind of sports car he stops to admire in one scene."
The Pursuit of Happyness compared to the other movies presented was inspired by a real life story of Chris Gardner who was abused by his step-father. He made a decision that he would not become like his father in a positive direction. His decision was something that let him hold on to his son more than the job he was training for. His commitment to his son, in being affected by his step-father, was the kind of thing that made him successful in his career.
Fathers and father figures are the most influential person in the family and can affect their children in either a good way, or a not so good way. Movies feed on experiences with a father. Whether it may be an inspired story or a movie just hatched up. Portrayal of fathers in movies echo the fathers in the society.
One day while the young prince was playing, a great mishap occurred and accidentally killed the king. The young prince fled and banished himself from his own kingdom deceived by his uncle that he killed his own father. The young prince eventually forgot that he was a prince and a duty to fulfill and his kingdom was falling apart having it being ruled by his deceitful uncle.
We all know this story right? If what your thinking is the award-winning 1994 film "The Lion King", then you get an achievement and trophy! The Lion King, though focused on Simba, is a very touching and moving story of father and child.
As Marc Newman has written in "Finding Strong Fathers in Film", fathers in society are usually depicted as failures and are not getting a pat on the back they deserve. He continues saying that movies and culture are not far off from each other. "It is hard to say if movies influence culture, or if culture is mirrored in movies, but clearly they feed on one another." Then writes down a list of movies depicting fathers with good character and the fatherly morals that can be drawn from the movie.
As Marc has said, not much movies portray fathers as a strong father figures. Most movies often portray fathers as being stupid, are slackers, and maybe immature and try to retaliate by being loving in the end of the film. To name a few are "Grown Ups" (2010), "Click" (2006), and "The Hangover" (2009).
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| "Darth Vader and Luke" by barguest [link] |
One movie that would show how much a father would sacrifice for his child would be "The Pursuit of Happyness" (2006). In Manohla Dargis' movie review "Climbing Out of the Gutter With a 5-Year-Old in Tow" that Chris Gardner (Smith) broke as he is, would consider getting money a way of attaining happiness. "He doesn’t want just a better, more secure life for himself and his child... he seems to yearn for a life of luxury, stadium box seats and the kind of sports car he stops to admire in one scene."
The Pursuit of Happyness compared to the other movies presented was inspired by a real life story of Chris Gardner who was abused by his step-father. He made a decision that he would not become like his father in a positive direction. His decision was something that let him hold on to his son more than the job he was training for. His commitment to his son, in being affected by his step-father, was the kind of thing that made him successful in his career.
Fathers and father figures are the most influential person in the family and can affect their children in either a good way, or a not so good way. Movies feed on experiences with a father. Whether it may be an inspired story or a movie just hatched up. Portrayal of fathers in movies echo the fathers in the society.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Post 2: Who am I, Daddy?
Ever had those times where you and your dad were discussing something really serious? It may be treating others well, about bullying, or about how different the opposite gender is. Perhaps it may have been about the "birds and the bees."
Children can learn a lot from their fathers, regardless if they are teaching them, spending time together or dads alone watching he big game. They may learn what is right or wrong. Learn to love one another or abhor each other. They may also learn the acceptable and the tolerable.
As Dr. Jeannine Zoppi wrote in her post What About Dad? The Importance of Birth Fathers, "Our fathers have had a profound effect on all of us. Whether they are alive or dead, whether we knew them or not, whether we consider them good fathers or not so good fathers. Our fathers shape us." This is true for all of us; whether he is giving a part of his time with their kids or not. He is shaping us on how we behave.
Children can see,listen, and know about everything their father does; most especially of their father's behavior away from them. This will ultimately affect the child's perception in life and in interpersonal communication and expression. Another way a father may affect their child is the way they see themselves.
In an article that I have encountered during my research, Dr. Warren Throckmorton PhD reacting on Dr. Joseph Nisolosi's findings about homosexuals and their relationships with their father. His blog Fathers, sons and homosexuality counters Dr. Joseph's work with other's testimony.
Dr. Warren quoted a father having a close relationship with his son and yet the son confessed to be a homosexual. My take on that particular experience is that the father may not have shared his stand on homosexuality to his son. But even so, for me a father must be share his definition on what it means to be a man or woman at an early age or they may turn into something they have never taught them to be.
Fathers will and always have a crucial effect on their children, whether they were absent or not. Whether they fathered their child in a good way or not. Fathers have a very crucial role to play in a child's life.
Children can learn a lot from their fathers, regardless if they are teaching them, spending time together or dads alone watching he big game. They may learn what is right or wrong. Learn to love one another or abhor each other. They may also learn the acceptable and the tolerable.
As Dr. Jeannine Zoppi wrote in her post What About Dad? The Importance of Birth Fathers, "Our fathers have had a profound effect on all of us. Whether they are alive or dead, whether we knew them or not, whether we consider them good fathers or not so good fathers. Our fathers shape us." This is true for all of us; whether he is giving a part of his time with their kids or not. He is shaping us on how we behave.
Children can see,listen, and know about everything their father does; most especially of their father's behavior away from them. This will ultimately affect the child's perception in life and in interpersonal communication and expression. Another way a father may affect their child is the way they see themselves.
In an article that I have encountered during my research, Dr. Warren Throckmorton PhD reacting on Dr. Joseph Nisolosi's findings about homosexuals and their relationships with their father. His blog Fathers, sons and homosexuality counters Dr. Joseph's work with other's testimony.
Dr. Warren quoted a father having a close relationship with his son and yet the son confessed to be a homosexual. My take on that particular experience is that the father may not have shared his stand on homosexuality to his son. But even so, for me a father must be share his definition on what it means to be a man or woman at an early age or they may turn into something they have never taught them to be.
Fathers will and always have a crucial effect on their children, whether they were absent or not. Whether they fathered their child in a good way or not. Fathers have a very crucial role to play in a child's life.
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Post 1: Daddy?
Do you remember any memories with your father? Remember when he cheered for you as you approached the plate to bat? Or when you went one-on-one in a basketball game? Maybe he helped you as you were practicing on the piano, or on the guitar?
We all have fathers, whether we grew up with them or not. We have good memories of the good and bad times, some of us have a surplus of either. There are others that don't have memories of their own fathers.
Fathers can affect the way their children live their lives, again because of the good or bad experiences together, or even the lack of it. Since they affect these children who will grow up to be part of the society, ergo fathers have a major effect on society. But what are the responsibilities a father has to take upon caring for his children?
In The Responsibilities of a Father by Jerry, a father's primary role is delight in his children. "A father is someone who has to believe in their children, and be proud of everything that their child does." He continues on saying that a father is not afraid to discipline his children, and still be a good role model.
As Jerry stated in his blog fathers are not afraid to discipline his children. But through some painful experience he should not do so in anger but with love. He must show what the child did wrong; since child is still a child, he must show it in a way that they will remember it, through pain. That's why, for me, prison is just an adult version of 'the corner'.
Continuing my research on the responsibilities of fathers. A good number of the links provided by Google are from Christian blogs. One would be Fatherhood from Focus on the Family by Traci Gray. "Kids learn from watching their fathers' decisions and listening to logical explanations." In summary, children learn from fathers who spend quality time with them.
In my experience, I have learned a lot of things from my dad. From cooking, fixing and drawing to maintainance, music, and exercise. And also making me love math problems. Other people aside from me may have experienced otherwise. Either bad memories fill their mind or no experiences with their dad at all.
We all have fathers, whether we grew up with them or not. We have good memories of the good and bad times, some of us have a surplus of either. There are others that don't have memories of their own fathers.
Fathers can affect the way their children live their lives, again because of the good or bad experiences together, or even the lack of it. Since they affect these children who will grow up to be part of the society, ergo fathers have a major effect on society. But what are the responsibilities a father has to take upon caring for his children?
In The Responsibilities of a Father by Jerry, a father's primary role is delight in his children. "A father is someone who has to believe in their children, and be proud of everything that their child does." He continues on saying that a father is not afraid to discipline his children, and still be a good role model.
As Jerry stated in his blog fathers are not afraid to discipline his children. But through some painful experience he should not do so in anger but with love. He must show what the child did wrong; since child is still a child, he must show it in a way that they will remember it, through pain. That's why, for me, prison is just an adult version of 'the corner'.
Continuing my research on the responsibilities of fathers. A good number of the links provided by Google are from Christian blogs. One would be Fatherhood from Focus on the Family by Traci Gray. "Kids learn from watching their fathers' decisions and listening to logical explanations." In summary, children learn from fathers who spend quality time with them.
In my experience, I have learned a lot of things from my dad. From cooking, fixing and drawing to maintainance, music, and exercise. And also making me love math problems. Other people aside from me may have experienced otherwise. Either bad memories fill their mind or no experiences with their dad at all.
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